| 65%
of all Americans believe that frozen pizza will never be
any good and there's nothing science can do about it. |
45%
of Americans think rain doesn't feel as good in real life
as it seems to in the movies. |
16%
of Perot voters believe "if dolphins were really smart,
they could get out of those nets." |
70%
of American women have never had an emotionally satisfying
relationship with a Republican. |
62%
of Americans believe that a trip to a major theme park is
more culturally enriching than a trip to the Reagan Library.
|
| 39%
of Americans believe that guns are not "as dangerous
as they say." |
15%
of Americans wish Dennis Hopper would go back on drugs.
|
29%
of Americans believe that Elvis was right to shoot TV sets.
|
29%
of Perot voters say, "The candidate I vote for usually
loses." |
11%
of Americans that suffer from indigestion would rather retake
the SAT than watch a Jesse Helms filibuster. |
| 88%
of Bush voters "have no idea what rappers are talking
about." |
14%
of Americans surveyed agree that Puerto Rico should not
be the 51st state because "that extra star would make
the flag look bad." |
35%
of Americans believe Richard Nixon went to heaven.
59% believe he went "somewhere else."
|
34%
of those who voted in the last election believe "Forrest
Gump" was a documentary. |
60%
of Americans say that, if they could push a button that
would make Larry King disappear, they would "keep pushing
it and not stop." |
| 37%
of Americans agree that while they would hate being British,
they wouldn't mind having a British accent. |
11%
of people who have tried Prozac would like to see Dan Quayle
make a comeback because "Al Gore just isn't funny enough."
|
36%
of college graduates think that there are virtually no female
serial killers because women "just aren't aggressive
enough." |
12%
of those polled believe the success of actor David Hasselhoff,
star of Baywatch, is due at least in part, to "dealings
with the devil." |
45%
of Americans believe that if space aliens could pick up
C-SPAN and see Sonny Bono speaking on the floor of Congress,
they would never visit the Earth. |
|
17%
of college graduates would punch themselves really hard
in the face for $50. |
28%
of those who said they were "normal" Americans,
would like to be King of Great Britain, but not if it meant
marrying the Queen. |
44%
of Republicans said they would watch "Nightline"
if it had a band and an opening comedy monologue. |
If Jesus came back
and saw that Pat Robertson was his spokesperson, 46%
of Americans think that we'd all be in big trouble. |
42%
of Americans feel that Kato Kaelin should be a passenger
on the next space shuttle, whether he wants to go or not.
|
| 26%
of those in possession of a firearm believe that the second
amendment protects their right to buy explosive fertilizer.
|
81%
of those who have seen two or more "Police Academy"
movies believe that O.J. is innocent. |
29%
of those surveyed think that the guy who first put the "Great"
in front of "Britain" probably meant it as a joke.
|
16%
of all Americans believe that the world is out to get them.
Of those, 46% are gun owners.
|
One third of American
women agree that baseball was more exciting when it was
on strike. |
| 40%
of Americans remember where they were when "JFK"
the movie was shot. |
Of those who said
they've had a good cry in the past six months, 42%
were Democrats, 27% were Republicans and
54% said they believe in UFO's. |
In the past year 36%
of Americans have chanted "We're Number One!"
Only 22% of Bush voters have chanted "We're
Number One!"
|
More Americans say
they would rather spend time in a jacuzzi with Dan Rather
than Tom Brokaw.
Of those who would tub with Dan, 10% have
no health insurance.
|
12.5%
of Americans that voted for Clinton believe that they will
someday be told "just what Victoria's Secret is."
98% of Bush voters believe they will never
know.
|
65%
of American women believe there is "a lot of difference"
between a campaign contribution and a bribe.
Only 35% of men see a difference.
|
28%
of Americans think that our army's high-tech military equipment
is too expensive to risk in combat. |
10%
of the American public would pay $5 to see Senator Orrin
Hatch (R-Utah) fight a big mean dog on Pay TV.
86% of all viewers would root for the dog.
100% of women viewers
would root for the dog.
|
